CALL 911, My Pot is Missing!

A Utah teenager called the police when a burglar stole a big bag of marijuana from his home.

And, after police pulled in a suspect, the 18-year-old agreed to go to the station to ‘identify’ the drugs.

The ‘victim’ was then arrested and charged with possession of drugs with intent to supply, reports the Deseret Morning News.

“He actually came and identified it as his,” said Orem Police Lt. Doug Edwards. “Even the dumb criminals are generally smarter than this.”

It began when police received a call from an Olem man complaining his home had been broken into and a quarter-pound of marijuana stolen.

The burglar had broken a window and apparently cut himself while crawling into the home.

The Orem man told police that a 23-year-old Provo man had called him about buying the marijuana but the deal hadn’t gone through.

Officers tracked the Provo man to his mother’s home where they found 6oz marijuana and a pair of blood-soaked trousers.

The man was arrested and charged with burglary, theft and possession of marijuana with intent to supply.

Technorati Tags: marijuana, Provo Utah, burglary, Crime, Stupid Criminals

Burgler Gets “Hot Seat”

An alleged burglar was rescued Thursday after he got stuck overnight in the oven vent of the convenience store he was trying to rob, the fire department said.

Investigators said Lonnie Shields, 37, climbed into a small vent on the roof of the New City Mart at about 2 a.m. and wasn’t found until store employees arrived at about 8 a.m.

Shields, who faces charges of burglary of a structure, was treated at a nearby hospital and booked into Orange County Jail on $1,000 bond.

“He was banged up and crunched up and uncomfortable from being in that pipe for about six hours,” Orlando fire chief Greg Hoggatt said.

Technorati Tags: Orlando Florida, Burglery

Don’t I Know You From Somewhere?

Memo to robbers: Don’t hold up the establishment where you’re trying to get a job.

Megan A. Whittaker, 35, of Menasha, Wis., was arrested Sunday and accused of holding up the local Q-Mart convenience store. Cops say she brandished a toy gun and forced the clerk to open the register.

Identification was easy — Whittaker was a regular customer and had recently applied for a job at the store, reported the Oshkosh Northwestern newspaper.

Whittaker realized during the robbery that the clerk knew her, police said. So she told the clerk she was her own twin sister.

Cops found Whittaker at her apartment, along with the $181 and case of beer that had been taken from the store.

She faces up to $100,000 in fines and a 40-year prison sentence.

Technorati Tags: Armed Robbery, Crime, Stupid Criminals

Hey, Anyone Seen My Satchel?

LOWELL, Mass. – A man who held up banks by claiming he had a bomb in a bag was arrested after police found the bag actually contained books, including a phone book that had a mailing label with the man’s full name and address.

“It was clearly not his best move,” Lawrence Police Chief John J. Romero said.

George Melendez was arrested Thursday at his home in Lowell and charged with the Jan. 6 robbery of a bank in Dracut. Police said he is also likely to face charges in bank robberies in Lawrence and Salem, N.H.

Investigators said Melendez would hand tellers a note claiming to have a bomb in his bag and demand large bills. As he left with the cash, he would leave behind the bag, prompting Dracut and Salem police to call in bomb squads as a precaution.

In each case, the satchel-type bags contained tangled wires and books.

After he allegedly hit a Sovereign Bank in Lawrence last week, police found a Lowell-area phone book in the bag the robber had left behind. They went to the address listed on the label and arrested Melendez, who also fit the bank tellers’ description of the robber. (H/T Dumb Criminals)

Technorati Tags: Bank Robbery, Crime, Stupid Criminals

Polly want a burglar?

WILLIAMSPORT, PA. – A pet parrot attacked a man who broke into its owner’s apartment, and the bite and blood marks helped police identify a suspect.

The blue and gold macaw hybrid named Sunshine attacked Michael L. Deeter, 44, after he broke into the apartment, police said. Sunshine had blood on its beak and Deeter had marks on his hand consistent with those made by a parrot.

Deeter told police the bird bit him very hard after he entered James Erb’s apartment and he still had the marks to prove it when he was arrested, authorities said. He allegedly got away with about $100 and a camcorder.

The crime-fighting bird also helped pinpoint the time of the break-in at 3 p.m. Saturday, when a neighbor heard it making a commotion.

Deeter became a suspect when police learned he had called Erb around 1 p.m. Saturday and learned he would be leaving for work. He confessed to breaking the glass in the door to get into the apartment, but said he was too drunk to remember anything else but his encounter with the bird, police said.

Deeter was arraigned on charges of burglary, criminal trespass, theft and criminal mischief and taken to the county jail in lieu of $25,000 bail.

As for the bird, Sunshine did not come away unscathed—all but one of its large tail feathers had been pulled out.

Technorati Tags: Williamsport, Parrot, Crime, Stupid Criminals

Crime Does Pay in Washington State

At most jobs, on-the-job conduct that gets an employee arrested will usually stop the paycheck, at least for the duration of the incarceration. However, if that individual is a Washington State Patrol employee sworn to uphold the law, the paycheck is delivered to the jail, it seems.

Michael Idland was on administrative reassignment and drew his full Washington State Patrol (WSP) salary during the 17 months he spent in the King County Jail for molesting women during routine traffic stops. Why did the agency that is supposed to enforce our state laws reward an officer for breaking those laws?

Technorati Tags: Washington State, State Police, Crime, Stupid Criminals

Do Ya Think He Might Need a Suicide Watch?

GREELEY, Colo. — A man who tried to commit suicide by sailing through several interections at 90 mph was sentenced Thursday to 35 years in prison after he crashed his pickup truck and killed a young mother last year.

Matthew Kyle Campbell, 35, was originally charged with first-degree murder based on extreme indifference to human life.

Last November he pleaded guilty to second-degree murder and as part of the plea agreement, Campbell faced between 16 and 35 years in prison instead of life in prison.

Technorati Tags: Greeley Colorado, Suicide, Murder, Crime, Stupid Criminals

Ok I’ll Pay For The Sex, But Those Pot-Bellied Pigs Gotta Go!

In what may be a new twist on the oldest profession, police detectives on Tuesday entered the home of Brandy M. Britton, 41, and her two pot-bellied pigs.

As a result of an undercover sting, Britton, a former assistant professor of sociology and anthropology at the University of Maryland—Baltimore County, was charged with various prostitution charges after agreeing — according to police records — to provide sex for money.

Brandon Justice, a police spokesman, said that it’s not everyday that the Howard County, Md. police station sees an alleged prostitute with a doctorate degree. “It’s very disconcerting,” he said. “But we weren’t really investigating her higher education background.” [Think how the pigs felt! - ed]

The investigation stemmed from complaints by several area residents who had seen streams of cars and men enter their quiet Ellicott City suburban neighborhood. Then, police found what they said was Britton’s personal Web site, where she advertised herself as a “a sexy, sophisticated and very passionate full-service … escort and erotic masseuse who provides incall or outcall escort or massage appointments in the Maryland, Baltimore, DC/Metro and Virginia areas.” The Web site was pulled down Thursday night.

Technorati Tags: Prostitution, Baltimore Maryland, Erotic Masseuse, Escourt Service, Crime, Oldest Profession, Stupid Criminals